Hi Friends. It’s been a while, and I’m sorry that I haven’t updated you properly. While it’s no excuse, the truth is that I’ve needed to be “quiet.” I love sharing with you all, but sometimes I need to process things on my own or with Josh first. We’ve had several decisions to make recently, and several more in the coming days, and for whatever reason I’ve needed to retreat.
I’ve also avoided an update because things have been
changing at a rapid pace. Past experience has given me insights into the
importance of flexibility during any fertility treatment, but these few weeks
have reminded me just how vital it is to not cling to any one plan. We’ve seen
possible transfer dates change at least 3 times, work schedules moved, travel
plans shift, and more grace and graciousness from our carrier than I can express.
It’s one thing to allow flexibility for myself and my own family, but it is
quite another to ask a busy, working mom of four to continually up-end her life
to make time to help ME grow a baby. She has done it with a smile and a
willingness to “see this thing through to the finish” as she so aptly put it
recently, and we are so thankful.
So, here’s a timeline of our past several weeks (some of
which has already been covered in my last post):
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May 17: Cycle # 1 start
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May 29: Monitoring appointment
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May 31: Monitoring appointment
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June 5: First possible transfer date changed to
monitoring appointment
·
June 11: Second possible transfer date changed
to ERA biopsy
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June 15: Cycle # 2 start
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June 28: Monitoring appointment
·
July 1: Monitoring appointment
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July 4: Possible transfer date - moved
·
July 6: Monitoring appointment
·
July 7: Possible transfer date at the time of
this post
Not only have we been to the doctor a LOT, we’ve also
traveled around and across states to these appointments. Every appointment
requires a drive for our carrier – usually at least 4 hours round trip for a single
appointment. We’ve had at least two appointments at the Daytona office of our
clinic, which is an hour and a half from our main clinic and adds at least 2 –
2 ½ hours to our carrier’s round-trip drive. (See above about grace and
graciousness from our carrier!)
I know you may not be interested in the finer details of the
changes and delays, but I do want to document them for myself and as part of
our story. So, if you are interested, read on!
We’ve had two struggles as we prepare for transfer – uterine
lining thickness and fluid accumulation in the uterus.
Cycle One: I covered the cycle one details in the last post,
which you can read about HERE.
ERA Test Results: There are some moments in this process where
I so clearly see Divine intervention, and I believe the thin lining and fluid
in cycle one was a big moment. When the ERA test results came back, we learned
that our carrier was pre-receptive, meaning she needs about 12 hours more
progesterone exposure than a standard protocol would provide. Given the small time
frame a uterus is receptive to receiving an embryo, those 12 hours can mean the
difference in a successful implantation or a negative pregnancy test. We had
not planned to do the ERA biopsy originally (given the likelihood that our
carrier would fall within the standard protocol), but the thin lining and fluid
moved us in that direction and ultimately gave us an invaluable piece of
information to increase the likelihood of a successful transfer.
Cycle Two: Cycle two has been a bit more challenging
logistically, as the dates for monitoring and a potential transfer coincided
with family trips for us and our carrier and the 4th of July
holiday. My doctor was also working in our clinic’s Daytona office for some
monitoring days, which meant some extra drive time to see him in person. The
logistics turned out beautifully though – especially given that our carrier and
my doctor were both gracious enough to let me FaceTime into a second,
unscheduled appointment that coincided with our family trip to North Carolina.
The first monitoring appointment showed fluid in the uterus and a thin lining,
but strong bloodwork numbers. We scheduled a second follow-up monitoring
appointment for three days later to re-check on the fluid and the lining
thickness. This also meant our originally planned transfer for July 4 was
pushed back by three days. At the second appointment, there was no appreciable
change in the fluid levels or the lining thickness. We had a significant amount
of discussion (me over FaceTime) about next steps, and we decided to have our
carrier start progesterone and re-check her the day before the planned
transfer. Our hope is that the progesterone will help clear the fluid, and her
lining may continue to thicken in the meantime.
So, where does that leave us? Right now, we are awaiting our
“day before potential transfer” monitoring appointment. I’ve spoken with my
doctor several times in the past 48 hours to get some questions answered and
help us all be prepared to make a game-time decision in a few days. While my
initial reaction after the appointment over FaceTime was one of anxiety and
confusion, my last conversation with my doctor left me feeling calm and full of
hope. We have a solid plan in place (with plenty of room for flexibility) about
whether or not to move forward with a transfer.
Despite the changes and shuffling that has happened during
these past several weeks, there have been plenty of reminders about the good
parts of this experience and little nudges to focus on flourishing.
·
We are looking forward to (hopefully) spending
some good time with our carrier and her husband when they come to town for the
next appointment and potentially stay overnight in preparation for a transfer.
Our relationship with them has been one of the highlights of the process. They
are the kindest, most loving couple, and we are forever grateful to have them
as friends.
·
Our confidence in our doctor has never wavered,
and this experience has continued to reinforce that he is “on our team” and
wants nothing but the best for us. He has done extra literature reviews, extra
phone calls, given us plenty of extra time in appointments, and helped us as
much as he could with the logistics of our carrier’s travel, our travel, and
his movement between office locations.
·
Our family and friends are amazing. They’ve
stepped in with prayers, logistics help, changed travel plans, words of support
and check-ins, and more love than we could have imagined possible.
·
We had a bit of an unplanned family adventure to
a Disney resort in connection with one of our appointments. We got to play in
the pools, visit Lightning McQueen and Mater, and even have dinner with Mickey,
Minnie, and Goofy. The highlight was having our son meet our carrier’s kids and
watching them play together for a bit one afternoon.
·
All of this has happened during our summer
“flex” schedules for work. I have significant time off in the summer months and
our carrier has more flexibility. Had these appointments been happening in
September or October, the logistics stress would have been much worse.
